What do the world’s most successful individuals all have in common that allows them to be so influential? What is it that makes an athlete, musician, or public speaker have the ability to perform in front of people, or a business professional the ability to continue producing innovation after innovation? These individuals hold a strong belief in themselves, confident that they possess the characteristics necessary to do what they do and do it well. They believe they can succeed, no matter the setback. But how do they possess such confidence?
Thankfully, I’ve found the answer for you.
What is Self-Love?
According to Psychology Today, self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. It’s a state of action, not simply feeling good, which means we must work towards loving ourselves to gain confidence.
But having the courage to do so takes time and patience. We must be kind to ourselves and foster a love for ourselves like we would for another.
Self-love is so vital to your welfare that I’ve come up with a few steps to help you bring more of it into your life.
Clean out your closet
Now, I’m not asking you to grab some trash bags and start rummaging through your clothes, although that may be therapeutic, too. What I mean is clean out your mental closet – those negative thoughts you hold onto that hinder your growth. This may be in the form of mistakes or “I should have” moments that linger in your mind and keep you from realizing your true potential. Once you’ve freed yourself from your negative baggage, you allow yourself the liberty to take risks and challenge your abilities. In return, you develop greater confidence in your skills and move toward reaching optimal self-acceptance.
Build a community
We all think we can tackle anything on our own, but that’s asking quite a bit from ourselves. Instead of taking on the world yourself, why not get the support and love you need from friends, mentors, or coworkers? With a community of trusted confidantes, you’ll have help in staying motivated and have people to hold you accountable. It’s always important to have a community you value to hold you up regularly.
Practice Failure Forgiveness
It is so easy to forgive someone else for their mistakes, but criticize ourselves for our own failure. This self-criticism seeps into everything you do and can hurt your confidence. Instead of discouraging yourself with negative talk, encourage yourself through forgiveness. Practice talking to yourself like you would a best friend. A best friend listens and provides trust in sharing true thoughts and feelings. They support you with acceptance and encouragement. So, go easy on yourself. Soon enough you’ll notice positive changes in both self-worth and self-regard.
Learn from others
There is an incredible amount of resources available at your fingertips. Take advantage of them! Join podcasts and business networks, learn from those who practice self-love and have experienced its benefits. Here are some of my favorites:
Brave Coaching Circles are membership groups comprised of women representing mid-level management or those new to roles involving leadership.
I Simply Am Podcast is an audio podcast that provides life-changing tools on self-love, self-awareness, mindfulness, forgiveness, and much more.
The Lively Show is life changing. Jess Lively is a self-growth queen who teaches how to live with intention, get away from listening to your ego, and trust your intuition.
Invisibilia combines storytelling and science and explores the role of one's emotional mindset when it comes to human behavior.