Say goodbye to your goals.

Say goodbye to your goals.
Standards are the key to accomplishment. 

We can’t deny it. As the New Year arrives, we set new goals and proclaim our new year’s resolutions. Maybe you bought a new planner and pretty pen, colorful new workout clothes, or even a new recipe book because surely these things are the key to your success. (If only it were that easy.) Nevertheless, it does not take long and the excitement starts to fizzle. For a few this tends to be a yearly pattern. So what is the key? Your standards could be the missing link to achieving your goals year after year.

So let’s shift our thoughts and plans from setting goals to raising our standards.

Say goodbye to your goals, raise your standards instead.

By definition, standards are a level of quality or attainment whereas goals are simply the result we direct our effort towards. Standards are expectations, rules we live by. Our behaviors and actions are built on the expectations we set for ourselves in a variety of situations. They lay down the benchmarks of performance for your life, which ultimately help you achieve your goals.

When I think of standards, the example that comes to mind are relationships. How can one person live in a strong, honest, loving and passionate relationship, while the next lives in drama, problems and hurt? The difference is their standards. It is how they treat others and allow themselves to be treated.

If you take inventory of your friend in an inspiring relationship’s standards, you will probably find they first treat other with respect and kindness the same way they would expect to be treated. By reflecting their own standards, they attract the relationship they desire.

Let’s look at another example. Every year the most common New Year’s Resolution for most Americans is to get healthy or lose weight. But if we’re repeating the same goal over and over again clearly our choices and actions aren’t changing for us to achieve our goal in the first place. A sign our standards need to change.

What’s the difference? Look here:


My goal this year is to get healthy and lose weight this year. I will do this by eating healthy and getting active. (I might even hire a trainer).


My standard is to live a healthy and full life. I will do this by taking small steps until they become a habit. Then I will eat whole lean foods 80% of the time, while enjoying my favorite treats 20% of the time. I will move my body every day; expect 10,000 steps each day and four workouts per week at home or the gym. This is who I am! If I have a bad day, I will not be hard on myself I will pick up the next day and move forward.

You see a standard is the way you live; it is who you are. When you set and raise your standards, you will achieve your goals, maintain them and move onto the next on a continued path of growth and success.

Take a moment to think about where you can raise your standards. Where do you want to be in five years? Does your relationship need some love and attention? Is your health holding you back? Do you want to grow in your role at work? If you want more, start to do more. Demand a higher standard from yourself and get busy working on your dreams. Today is the day to raise the bar and raise your standards.

Once you change your mindset, it is exciting to think about what you can truly accomplish in your life and what you will attract!

Let this year be the year to say goodbye to your goals and set your personal standards instead.  

When resistant behavior becomes the norm and you’re exhausted  from issuing one unsuccessful consequence after another,  it’s time to change the conversation.   Join us as Jaci Finneman helps us explore empathy – the no-pressure, no-problem key to changing  the way you approach resistance.  Register for the Next LLN